tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2400953819829355152011-11-02T21:21:15.790-04:00gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.comBlogger1081100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-24070087592411877162009-11-23T21:56:00.003-05:002009-11-23T22:04:16.574-05:00

people who have heard of at least one of my boy stories know that i have a lot of celebrity crushes. personally, i think that's completely normal. even girls that i know are dating still crush on celebs. it's not like you're actually in love with them.but... gah. it's weird because what if you cry for that person? what if you can't sleep because you know he is hurting and unhappy? what if you get

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-2288579556471881472009-11-15T18:10:00.002-05:002009-11-15T18:18:34.253-05:00

i've really come to dislike my xxx these days. actually, just xxx and yyy. yyy is so fuckin spoiled, what a brat. god. and xxx is just... i don't even know what to say about him. he's just unbelievable. i don't even want to speak to him right now.i really fuckin hate how asian parents like dote on the son a million times more than the daughter. the son could be incompetent and dependent his whole

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-27311651731918391802009-10-30T23:50:00.002-04:002009-10-31T00:02:29.174-04:00

we will be moving on thursday. I CAN'T WAIT!!!! :Dcan't wait to have my own room. can't wait to not having to wait for the bathroom in the morning. can't wait to sleep peacefully. can't wait for the absence of noise. can't wait to have OUR OWN SPACE. i don't care that it's the basement. can't wait for a shorter commute. can't wait, can't wait, can't wait.finally received recommendations from prof

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-40593492375997350532009-10-27T17:20:00.006-04:002009-10-27T17:41:36.009-04:00

thanks to ThankYou pts (lol) with Citi, i got a Macy's gift card for $100. WOOHOO. so, i went shopping today. i think i really like spending money =Xwell first, i went to the optical store to get a contact lens prescription. friggin a, cost me $225 ($100 for the exam, $125 for a 6mo supply). oh and i still didn't get the actual contact lenses, i'm supposed to "try out" a pair they gave me with my

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-22913689692737299462009-10-22T22:46:00.002-04:002009-10-22T22:55:59.004-04:00

shit. i'm getting so fucked up it's really bad. fuck.to anyone who's wondering, i'll be journaling about M (the mentally retarded kid that i "babysit") in a paper diary that i have instead of blogging about it, since i journal it when i'm over at his house, during the majority of time that he ignores me.so i'm pretty much done with my apps. my personal statements are done, most of the online/

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-2665153910032229112009-10-21T23:05:00.002-04:002009-10-21T23:12:19.086-04:00

"when you are addicted to drugs you put the tiger in the cage to recover; when you are addicted to food you put the tiger in the cage, but take it out three times a day for a walk."- Overeaters AnonymousToday, I translated my mom's complaint to court into English. She's going to file it tomorrow. So we're going to take it to the court after all. I wonder what's going to happen. I know I'm going

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-584995284099657212009-10-14T21:47:00.002-04:002009-10-14T21:59:07.668-04:00

i have a headache. not sure from what, the cold weather maybe, since it started when i was standing in the cold for 20 minutes waiting for the stupid bus. and now with my glasses plus the hair hand giving me eye strains, i'm having cluster headaches.at least one headache of many is gone; i'm done with my personal statement!!!! (a million pats on the back) after 2 versions, 4 drafts each, so

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-21032732518508367302009-10-12T19:21:00.002-04:002009-10-12T19:25:57.016-04:00

just dished out nearly $700 to book a VIP table at a club for a friend's bday party. i hope we get more people to go because, to be honest, i'd like to pay less than $70 for a couple hours of entertainment, which better be worth it.anyway, i cried a lot today. my eyes are quite swollen right now. but i feel a little better. it makes me pray, cry out, literally. somehow i just have to believe.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-57064875894860821272009-06-29T22:19:00.002-04:002009-06-29T22:34:20.172-04:00

ok, another update on my life for the world.✽ decided on clinical psych after all. a big reason that changed my mind (or more like made up my mind) was that my email to a professor at UCSD (my first choice) was replied. and she sent me a bunch of papers and asked me to send her my CV. :)✽ started the jillian michaels' 30dayShred workout last week. level1 was fine, i was pretty sore after the

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-18592460712016857042009-05-26T22:00:00.002-04:002009-05-26T22:08:14.527-04:00

Find your space. Find your spot. Wear what you love. Choose the careers that may have meaning to you, because there's always somebody who will say, "I wouldn't have worn that color," or "Why didn't you work at that job?" But if you're comfortable in the choice and it resonates with you, then all that other stuff--it's just conversation. People have the right to have conversations. But I think

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-73551829544058580592009-05-25T20:13:00.002-04:002009-05-25T20:20:58.990-04:00

I'm currently in Orlando with my family. We got 5-day tickets at the discounted price of 4-day, but we only plan to do 4 days. So, I'm selling them starting on 5/28, they're good until 6/8, price negotiable (fyi, gate price is ~$75 excluding tax). Pls fwd to anyone that may be interested or leave a comment if you are. Thanks.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-85218483605364856982009-03-26T21:06:00.002-04:002009-03-26T21:14:51.521-04:00

"I feel like kissing you. I feel like I don't want to be apart from you.""It's okay. I won't let you go. So come to me."and then, she leaves because she doesn't want to hurt her husband and his girlfriend. a;sdlkfja;lskdjf wtf a;asd;flkja;lksjas much as i love yamapi and his acting isn't too shabby for his first drama as the lead, but i just CANNOT stand it. ugh i hate the script. seriously, who

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-21831333847326346952009-03-24T16:11:00.001-04:002009-03-24T16:12:31.512-04:00

i was tagged this on LJ but i'd rather keep this for my own record and also i hate the whole tagging thing.1. Last beverage → green tea. or was it water? i drink it interchangeably.2. Last phone call → mom3. Last text message → my brother4. Last song you listened to → candle lights - boa5. Last time you cried → i teared up last night watching ep7 of attention please. does that count?SIX HAVE YOU

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-8968237606961843022009-03-12T22:29:00.002-04:002009-03-12T22:38:46.834-04:00

i don't know who reads this thing anymore, but, oh well whatever.i'm tired. i wanna sleep soon but my cousin is still practicing his violin... it is 10:30pm. wtf. just because NYSSMA is around the corner doesn't mean you can play around the clock. on my way to my violin lessons today i was thinking i should probably tell kenneth to just quit if he doesn't want to learn. after his NYSSMA this

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-76980769020892854582009-02-17T22:06:00.008-05:002009-02-17T22:38:28.905-05:00

watching this drama made me fall in love with classical music all over again. actually, i'm not so sure if i was ever in love with classical to begin with... i felt like i never learned it the right way, like the way they did in the drama, listening to recordings and studying the background to the piece; what happened during the time period in which it was written, who wrote it and what was he

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-13242146955805814542009-01-31T09:34:00.004-05:002009-01-31T10:38:06.482-05:00

Again?? Amy groans silently upon receiving a pile of paperwork at 4pm that will make her have to work overtime, again. But, of course, she takes it from her boss with a smile, because you are not supposed to complain about extra work given an hour before you are supposed to get off. Or, she thinks. It's not her ideal career, this sort-bills-and-making-best-friends-with-Excel job. Amy majored in

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-47331176728294960172009-01-05T23:02:00.002-05:002009-01-05T23:10:45.053-05:00

to be honest, i completely forgot about this until someone mentioned something being one of their new year's resolutions and i was like, oh yeah... that. so this is more like a to-do list, as always.+ lose 5 more pounds (and keep it all off)+ learn how to wear heels and hide my grimaces perfectly+ really go through with the whole grad school app process (God help me)+ get plugged back into church

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-70333644738347221812009-01-03T20:28:00.003-05:002009-01-03T20:42:36.042-05:00

i really wish i were still a student. hearing and reading about the lives of students makes it seem like they are entitled to do anything and everything crazy and unreasonable and childish; they can sleep and eat and bathe whenever and wherever they want or if needed. and so i also wish that i were able to go back to school next year instead of the year after, when i'll be 25. oh dear. it just

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-50965846153614431182009-01-02T09:29:00.002-05:002009-01-02T09:50:03.007-05:00

on the way to work this morning, i read a passage in Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot, a book that i haven't touched in ages and had just dug out from the garage a few days ago. the passage was on learning about the love of God and an example was given from Exodus in which Moses said (modified by Elliot) to the panic-stricken Israelites, "stand by, the Lord will fight for you if you'll just

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-75955300706371806512008-12-03T20:49:00.003-05:002008-12-03T20:58:19.022-05:00

just wanted to introduce a special person:my boyfriend

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-33311396036377335552008-12-03T20:48:00.001-05:002008-12-03T20:48:42.856-05:00

"When will you be home?" she asksas we watch the planes take offWe both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may leadShe's watched me as i crawled and stumbledAs a child, she was my worldAnd now to let me go, I know she bleedsand yet she says to meYou can fly so highKeep your gaze upon the skyI'll be prayin every step along the wayEven though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-59504901084562727762008-11-19T12:42:00.004-05:002008-11-19T13:03:24.879-05:00

I just made up a song when I was in the bathroom, 2 hrs ago, and I just remembered that I forgot to write it down. Man... now I can't remember the melody, just the lyrics. Anyway, things have been kind of going uphill, in most areas.- I've started studying for the GRE; it's a good thing to be focused on. - I cut my hair short on Monday. I really like it, and so does everyone at my work place. I

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-4386297606187908572008-11-09T18:35:00.002-05:002008-11-09T18:51:11.249-05:00

Your love is deep Your love is high Your love is long Your love is wideDeeper than my view of grace Higher than this worldly place Longer than this road I travel Wider than the gap You filledWho shall separate us Who shall separate us from Your love Nothing can separate us Nothing can separate us from Your love-----I heard this song for the first time during the response time at church today.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-8830538245494139652008-10-25T17:36:00.002-04:002008-10-25T17:48:38.310-04:00

Hi world.I finally spent time doing some serious thinking about life today. Surprisingly. I did not see that coming at all; it was in the middle of watching a Japanese drama. I gave some serious thought to applying to grad school, for clinical psychology. A convo I had yesterday with one of the doctors at the Center probably had something to do with it. I suddenly realized that I tend to

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-46783799221345539862008-09-28T20:54:00.002-04:002008-09-28T20:58:14.418-04:00

Nihongo:平気(へいき)な顔(かお)で嘘(うそ)をついて笑(わら)って　嫌気(いやけ)がさして楽(らく)ばかりしようとしていたないものねだりブルース皆(みな)安(やす)らぎを求(もと)めている満(み)ち足(た)りてるのに奪(うば)い合(あ)う愛(あい)の影(かげ)を追(お)っている退屈(たいくつ)な毎日(まいにち)が急(きゅう)に輝(かがや)きだしたあなたが現(あらわ)れたあの日(ひ)から孤独(こどく)でも辛(つら)くても平気(へいき)だと思(おも)えたI'm just a prisoner of loveJust a prisoner of love病(や)める時(とき)も健(すこ)やかなる時(とき)も嵐(あらし)の日(ひ)も晴(は)れの日(ひ)も共(とも)に歩(あゆ)もうI'm gonna tell you the truth人知(ひとし)れず辛(つら)い道(みち)を選(えら)

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-27352158188317549392008-08-31T00:19:00.003-04:002008-08-31T00:34:32.956-04:00

So I went to the MoMA for the first time today and there was the Dali exhibit. I was so blown away. It's just amazing. I wish I had time to see everything. Un chien andalou was crazy and I was actually right on with the interpretation for the detective scene near the end. Yay for having a psychology background. I want to watch Destino. I wonder where I can get a copy of it. I want to go back

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-67062589221406687302008-08-27T14:08:00.002-04:002008-08-27T14:21:41.588-04:00

- i have over 300 unread items from Lifehacker in my google reader. i bet half of them have to do with windows which i do not have. i wish there was a way to filter out these things. - a month ago i was drinking water from the tab because i forgot that i no longer lived in nyc. and then i wondered why the water tasted so weird. - columbia now has a course on EM (emergency medicine) that sounds

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-42376545784727004142008-08-23T21:22:00.002-04:002008-08-23T21:33:26.872-04:00

I finally found out what is wrong with my finger. I've been having these unsightly and annoyingly itchy little blisters for over a year I believe. Back in college I went to the school dermatologist twice and in addition to giving me different medications they couldn't figure out what it was. Oh and by the way the medications were minimally helpful. So thanks to Wikipedia (once again), I figured

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-1510367619673865402008-08-18T11:46:00.003-04:002008-08-18T11:51:14.433-04:00

Hello my faith readers, whoever you are:Just a heads up especially for those of you who like to mass-email restaurant/eatery-related outings/discounts/feasting occasions, I am now a vegetarian. I started last week, or the end of the week before. It was fine. But now it's beginning to seem a bit difficult when I'm really hungry and I can't eat anything but bread, being in Chinatown, but I'm sick

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-63301048073155745392008-08-04T22:22:00.002-04:002008-08-04T22:26:05.157-04:00

I started reading this this morning on the LIRR. It is enlightening in a very satirical and slap-in-the-face kind of way. But I like it. I am considering giving up meat. The way farm factory animals are treated is just... it actually made me a little nauseous reading it. And if you know me, I never get nauseous from that kind of stuff. More on the book after I'm done with it.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-84140070827360562062008-07-31T21:46:00.002-04:002008-07-31T22:00:30.708-04:00

i think humans are actually naturally drawn to evil. oftentimes, we suspect, we know that this mystery will turn out to be something bad, something evil, something corrupting, and yet we go ahead and touch it, feel it, let it invade our mind, our heart, our soul. perhaps this translates into man's natural tendency to be tempted, be seduced, be depraved. and maybe that's why it's so hard to pull

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-78242308631674428832008-07-30T20:56:00.002-04:002008-07-30T21:13:40.589-04:00

I want to buy a one-way ticket to Taiwan. Except... I can't just up and go. Because of my job.I keep thinking, I would be happier in Taiwan, because it would be easier to be happy. Because money wouldn't be such a big issue. Because I wouldn't think twice before I speak so excessively. Because maybe I would feel better about myself. I always feel so tired when I'm here.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-53891510644955298462008-07-27T20:37:00.002-04:002008-07-27T20:48:26.058-04:00

I've been watching a Taiwanese drama called Honey and Clover. It's adapted from manga, so there are certain exaggerated comical elements. I don't think the acting is particularly good, or it's particularly romantic, the humor is alright, but I really like the plot. If you know someone is waiting for you, would you keep them waiting? What if you are also waiting for someone else? To keep waiting

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-2362374177755838072008-07-19T01:27:00.002-04:002008-07-19T01:38:11.441-04:00

so that was my first attempt to improve my writing, sort of in preparation for writing my personal statement, which i should really start working on in maybe november. i haven't written serious stuff for a long time, i can't remember the last time i did. so i searched for "how to improve writing" on google and one of the tips i found was to randomly choose a word from the dictionary (or my brain)

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-37092959977117920012008-07-19T01:15:00.002-04:002008-07-19T01:25:39.853-04:00

pictures on my ceiling remind me of how i used to want to look like. not myself. not who God created me to be, probably. but who i wanted to be. who i thought i wanted to be. pictures of shoes, peep-toed shoes, stilettoes, flats, boots. pictures of bags, leather bags, tote bags, clutches. pictures of accessories, necklaces, bangles, earrings. no, i did not want to look like objects of fashion,

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-12050806325636944102008-07-06T20:33:00.002-04:002008-07-06T22:44:50.975-04:00

God is a very funny man.So last week my aunt hinted that she wanted to set me up with this guy that just started going to her church, so she asked me for my email address (it's either that or my phone number) to give to him. I didn't really care so I said ok, because I thought there was a good chance that she would forget, and/or that he wouldn't email me for real.And then last night, my mom said

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-10326694471196384562008-07-01T22:56:00.003-04:002008-07-01T23:01:54.196-04:00

I've been making a lot of unwise decisions these past 3 days. Not good. There is one thing I've been wondering: why are my hands so small and my fingers so short? It's like my brain has ceased to be stimulated now that I'm out of school. I'm not even tired when I get off work. In fact I think I can probably work overtime except I wouldn't because I thought I wouldn't be paid for it. But now I

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-17336265600768985092008-07-01T12:26:00.002-04:002008-07-01T12:30:44.227-04:00

is a bit worse.So one of my projects is to give out surveys on a handbook to parents of teenagers. I have to talk to them about the book, what it's about etc and if they want to look through it I ask them to fill out the survey and give them the book for free. Yesterday I got 8 done, which is amazing.And today, so far, I was rejected twice. Not the first time it's happened, but it's still not

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-33195505809732943002008-06-29T17:48:00.002-04:002008-06-29T17:57:17.143-04:00

tomorrow is my first day of work. i'm not thinking about it. because if i do i will drive myself crazy.carol said a lot of wise things to me today. she said that it's not about doing a certain job or being in a certain place, but being where God has called me to be. and right now, that is here, new york, cbwchc, living at home. it might change to something else, somewhere else later on, but i

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-60528150657128316122008-06-24T11:33:00.003-04:002008-06-24T11:55:59.915-04:00

i'm not ready to leave. before i came, i thought that something would happen to change my mind about the prospects of living in taiwan. and it did. but it only made me want to come back here for good even more. it's odd how quickly i hit it off with people here with almost zero awkwardness, even people that i just met here. it's odd how comfortable i am being myself, who i am, when i'm here. like

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-25070662494008197582008-06-20T21:56:00.003-04:002008-06-20T22:03:12.612-04:00

真的很不甘願的去做了而且為什麼要拖到last week很煩眼睛超腫的真的值得嗎my bangs are in the wayi spent like 10 minutes putting on my right contact this morningand i have to be super careful not to let sweat get on the woundughhhthe first week was the perfect time to do it and...ughi can't say enough of ughsummer is the worst time to have wounds... it'll heal the slowesti don't want to leave hereand i don't want to go backi know

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-84200215854008593782008-06-15T01:42:00.002-04:002008-06-15T01:57:50.867-04:00

Seeing 50 million Africans being saved, I cried.Seeing teenagers and children praising with their arms lifted high and eyes closed, I cried.Seeing 12,000 Christians gathered in a stadium, worshipping the Lord, I cried.Seeing passion and hope in this land where I did not expect to see, I cried.Finally, God has answered my prayer that he open my eyes to see him, to see his awesomeness and his

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-58380680528678738062008-06-08T10:05:00.002-04:002008-06-08T10:17:58.925-04:00

like rain, even though it wasn't raining (but humid enough to).I've made a couple friends at this church which I'm really glad about; they are all really really friendly and welcoming. One of them is the pianist at the Mandarin service and as I watched her play this morning, I wish I were or could be in that place. It's been over 2 years since I've really played as in serving and from playing

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-46475072847838992782008-06-04T22:48:00.002-04:002008-06-04T23:11:27.393-04:00

that is how I will find myself, to become the beloved."For God beholds with his merciful eyes not what you are, not what you have been--but what you would be." - The Cloud of UnknowingWe become broken vessels so that God can shine through the holes in our lives.This is some of the stuff I got out of this talk on leadership I went to.Short and sweet. More later.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-77412058119111850762008-06-01T02:27:00.002-04:002008-06-01T02:41:51.439-04:00

I think Husseini also said something similar in The Kite Runner, and I remember when I read that sentence it hit home, though not for the first time. I always felt like that when I came back here; besides the fact that I can speak the language everything else makes me a tourist here, not knowing where things or places are or where to go. The night I got home, I prayed on my knees for the first

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-38096851662145399922008-05-22T10:36:00.003-04:002008-05-22T10:46:19.206-04:00

Finally, I'm graduated. I really don't feel like I'm "qualified" to be someone who is done with four years of college education. When I showered this morning I thought to myself, this is the last time I'm showering in this bathroom, in a dorm. There were a lot of last-time's in the past weeks, but none of it really felt like a last time. I feel like it still hasn't really sunk in that I'm leaving

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-51866479102862135352008-05-20T02:02:00.002-04:002008-05-20T02:08:48.447-04:00

a long time since I wrote in here. Well um, I just checked my MCAT score. Let's just say... my score is competitive for the school I want to go to (Stonybrook) and I'm a much better writer than I thought (kudos to a 4-year liberal arts education).Also just had a really real conversation. Made me think about a lot of things, things I should have been thinking about for a while now. I thought that

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-60562130590385415292008-04-30T09:13:00.001-04:002008-04-30T09:17:04.549-04:00

Love is not premeditated— it is spontaneous; that is, it bursts forth in extraordinary ways. There is nothing of precise certainty in Paul’s description of love. We cannot predetermine our thoughts and actions by saying, "Now I will never think any evil thoughts, and I will believe everything that Jesus would have me to believe." No, the characteristic of love is spontaneity. We don’t

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-2402952152854117672008-04-25T12:39:00.004-04:002008-04-25T12:46:44.132-04:00

would be nice right now. One more week of working as a slave and dealing with mentally unstable people. One more physics class (but no more physics lab! yayyy!!).Two more pol theory classes.One more midterm.Then it's job training, commencement errands, studying for 2 finals, senior week. Then graduation. That day is going to hit me in the head before I even know it.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-39264734516510950332008-04-23T00:45:00.002-04:002008-04-23T00:52:20.889-04:00

Having had to fight something on your own for years kind of shapes you into an overly independent and seemingly (or maybe not) selfish person. I want to graduate, and I don't want to graduate. Part of me wants to stay in school forever, but only if there weren't exams. Part of me wants to get out there and learn how to live on my own, but only if it weren't this scary. I'm looking forward to

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-41774165472177834732008-04-16T20:30:00.002-04:002008-04-16T20:35:28.883-04:00

The MCAT is in less than 36 hrs. Also, I officially have a job. A real, full-time, 9-5 job. I got the offer yesterday. This is a little too big to comprehend right now. At least I'm trying not to because I will need all my brain cells intact and ready to fire crazy action potentials on Friday. But crazy celebration this weekend for sure. Now, I must do my best to review bio and gchem for the nth

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-80451354309752362562008-04-13T22:59:00.003-04:002008-04-13T23:12:18.188-04:00

3 more days of studying. One day of rest. Test day (which is also Pope visiting NYC day -> horrible traffic, awesome). DONE.I have a monstrously long list of things to do after this is all over, i.e. a lot of catch up work with physics -.-, graduation stuff -.-, learn cantonese =] and read and tan on the steps =] among other fun things.Senior banquet is also this Saturday. Oooh dear.I think I

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-14341652914874365712008-04-04T12:28:00.002-04:002008-04-04T12:38:10.574-04:00

The MCAT is in 2 weeks. Um. Yeah.I just heard back from CBWCHC and they want me to come in for a second interview o.0. That will probably be before the MCAT. Great timing. Why does it seem like I'm interviewing for a firm that has multiple rounds, especially since last time I had to do a mock session of health education, 100% improv. Good thing I've decided to drop my physics midterm next week.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-63472181381257662762008-04-01T01:55:00.002-04:002008-04-01T02:09:23.114-04:00

last semester. I miss orgo. Every time I study for MCAT orgo I miss orgo II last semester. I miss drawing those molecules and electron transfer arrows and benzene rings and diels alder cyclic electron transfer AHH I miss orgo =[ and I miss reading those memoirs for psych of drug use and enjoying them so much. I miss being busy and being focused on being busy. I miss the people from research. Last

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-41154632438167450002008-03-31T02:37:00.002-04:002008-03-31T02:40:42.551-04:00

Make me see how beautiful You are again. Be the center of my life. Take over. Please?Thank You.I pray that the fact that God literally rescued me and saved my life will never be erased, or even fade from my memory.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-1731071668995173012008-03-28T16:00:00.003-04:002008-03-28T16:05:04.423-04:00

to Taiwan. 5/29-6/27. I should start job hunting again after the MCAT is over. If I still don't have a job by the time I leave... I think I'll be fine staying in Taiwan for the next year. Or forever. Who knows. Or come back and job hunt again. Maybe I'll have a better idea of what I want to do when I get my MCAT score.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-1690535413834417882008-03-21T23:59:00.003-04:002008-03-22T00:25:46.012-04:00

putting my thoughts in list form because i'm still feeling the rocking and screw the capitalization and proper grammar.- muscle aches. my right shoulder and right side of my neck is absolutely killing me. i can't even use my right hand to brush my teeth. and it hurts when i just walk, or swallow, or sneeze, or laugh.- milking the cruise for all its worth and ordering 13 dishes together with

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-74088290590170671062008-03-11T18:26:00.001-04:002008-03-11T18:27:32.096-04:00

I think I need to be drunk or drugged in order to really have fun on this cruise.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-50731587000433795392008-03-07T00:30:00.002-05:002008-03-07T00:47:09.111-05:00

Today was a pretty draining day, both physically and emotionally. I got really upset this morning because I felt guilt-tripped into playing. Looking back, I think I almost felt offended, in a way, and disrespected, for my way of doing things, for choosing to prep for an interview and sleep early over staying out late. I get bitter about stuff like this because I guess in a way I feel like while

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-7010561013928967022008-03-04T18:48:00.002-05:002008-03-04T18:57:44.824-05:00

I think, the reason why I'm prone to wishful thinking about Taiwan when things are hard is because I'm not really happy or content here, doing what I'm doing, so I wish I were somewhere else, doing something else. God show me why I'm here, in NY, at this school, studying all these things I'm studying. Show me the purpose for which you placed me here. Show me what I can do with my life, here and

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-10531807908315802942008-02-29T01:31:00.002-05:002008-02-29T01:40:19.096-05:00

I'm really exhausted these days. Every day. I start my day (as in when I wake up) around 8, 8:30 and end around 9:30. That's about a 12-hour day. I think it's the most tiring during the transition from student to young adult as you are doing everything all at once. And getting 6 hours of sleep is no longer enough. I wish I were a heavy sleeper. I envy those who can leave everything to the last

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-87383811331757232652008-02-26T01:35:00.003-05:002008-02-26T01:55:44.830-05:00

So life has been much better these days. I think I'm happier, though definitely more tired. I'm always tired; is that anything new? What's new is, I got 2 interviews today. I mean callbacks, whatever. One is pretty... unattainable (I am not expecting to get an offer at all), it's with the department of neurosurgery at Columbia med school. mmm... yeah. Enough said. Luckily it's a phone interview.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-9373623863477986912008-02-19T09:45:00.003-05:002008-02-19T10:09:03.276-05:00

Senioritis, though typically perceived as a high school ailment, can also be found in college seniors. The typical causes of this may be burnout, or the obtainment of job offer letters. Having received a job offer letter, concerns about college GPA generally decrease and a sense of apathy in schoolwork can develop. (Wikipedia)I feel at a loss of purpose for my life. Hm.. that's not exactly the

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-13727534721545160702008-02-18T00:10:00.002-05:002008-02-18T00:17:42.344-05:00

因為我不想做夢美麗的夢想跟我完全不搭軋這是我的生存之道我最不需要的就是夢想最沒興趣的就是戀愛我不會讓自己有希望落空的機會因為沒有期望就不會失望我一點都不消極因為我沒有那個權力- 童嘉蒂 換換愛Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be like 阿信... It's all about perspective. 2 months exactly. Let's do this.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-15536357318544081882008-02-17T00:27:00.002-05:002008-02-17T00:30:30.121-05:00

Cashmere Mafia is hands-down the best show about women EVER. Yes, I do sound like a feminist but I don't care. I hate rejections and failed relationships. In fact, I'm scared of them. But now, I'm not afraid of love anymore, because when it fails, I look forward to chocolate and vodka with girlfriends as my consolation prize.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-31992893786211661002008-02-15T23:23:00.002-05:002008-02-15T23:39:52.343-05:00

I will carry you, I've carried your sins and I will carry you. I don't want you to be alone in this; you are not alone. I will carry you. Yes, it is hard, but it's not impossible. Nothing is impossible with me. You need to trust me. You need to have faith in me. I will give you the strength to fight, to keep going. I've carried you this far and I will continue to carry you. I will not leave you.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-38113488183817813452008-02-12T00:28:00.000-05:002008-02-12T00:30:53.950-05:00

Hope is too intangible to the point of unreality. No more. Good bye.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-11874430386926224602008-02-10T21:42:00.000-05:002008-02-10T22:07:13.589-05:00

Kevin: "What about you? You don't have any needs?" Jane: "No. I'm Jesus."I don't want to have needs either. Wouldn't life be so much better spent taking care of other people and meeting their needs? Actually, needs suck. It'd be nice to be like Jesus.I think I have a very paradoxical personality. Kind of like the weather today. Actually, very much like the weather today. My mom is in Taiwan right

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-60084982806321781872008-02-08T01:35:00.000-05:002008-02-08T01:45:23.802-05:00

Wow I just talked to someone on the phone for over an hour and a half. I need more talks like that.I've been getting pretty stressed out about my schedule. Every time I look at my calendar I get anxious. I guess I'm just worried that I won't have enough time to study. I forget that I have weekends. I just feel like I have to study during the week too but I probably won't get much done. But that's

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-5017017057386427252008-02-07T10:24:00.000-05:002008-02-07T10:28:52.897-05:00

Spiritual Dejection Every fact that the disciples stated was right, but the conclusions they drew from those facts were wrong. Anything that has even a hint of dejection spiritually is always wrong. If I am depressed or burdened, I am to blame, not God or anyone else. Dejection stems from one of two sources— I have either satisfied a lust or I have not had it satisfied. In either case, dejection

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-70558336896278581662008-02-07T01:06:00.000-05:002008-02-07T01:08:46.731-05:00

What a friggin roller coaster.I don't know how to do this anymore. I think I want to give up. I'm so tired, like all the time. I feel like I can't even think anymore. I don't want to grow cold!! ugh. Good thing God is more persistent than I am...

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-43205475467014367352008-02-06T00:43:00.000-05:002008-02-06T01:06:51.050-05:00

- I'm getting hooked on the pinkberry song.- I ran into a friend who I NEVER see (except when I did research last semester) twice today. - 2 people told me today that I look like I've lost weight. In my face. I think fat has migrated from there to my tummy. Like a food baby. (get it get it??)- I learned how to say "a lot of pain the back" in Spanish today while volunteering in the adult primary

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-23139976119648443892008-02-04T01:42:00.000-05:002008-02-04T01:47:12.097-05:00

I'm in such a bad mood. First the mcat diagnostic really annoyed me. Actually, I just got really annoyed with myself because for some unknown reason I ran out of time for verbal and did worse than the first time. WTH. Though my overall score did improve. I was so annoyed that I got a chardonnay at dinner. Bad idea, considering how exhausted I was already. And then, I got even more annoyed because

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-37398898559767485962008-02-04T00:38:00.000-05:002008-02-04T00:59:14.426-05:00

Something that I've always wanted is to be normal. To be able to have a semi-healthy semi-unhealthy relationship with food, to love being with people all the time, to get homesick and miss a normal family, to study and do work without thinking much about it, etc. For some reason no matter how hard I try I can't. Maybe that's just who I am. To be like everyone else... is to not be me. Maybe God

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-31835467086984681362008-02-01T19:58:00.000-05:002008-02-01T20:00:54.595-05:00

Do you know what it's like to be struggling with the same thing for almost 10 years? It all comes down to one thing. Sort of. An insatiable desire/longing that needs to be fulfilled by the One thing. Please pray that I won't be hungry for anything else besides God.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-72708427939005059172008-01-29T00:36:00.000-05:002008-01-29T01:07:37.143-05:00

Worth It All - Rita SpringerI don't understand Your waysOh but I will give You my songGive You all of my praiseYou hold on to all my painWith it You are pulling me closerAnd pulling me into Your waysNow around every cornerAnd up every mountainI'm not looking for crownsOr the water from fountainsI'm desperate in seeking, frantic believingThat the sight of Your faceIs all that I needI will say to

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-50545274611775695582008-01-28T00:22:00.000-05:002008-01-28T00:50:25.635-05:00

I cried a lot today. I cried a lot at church, and I cried again tonight when my mom yelled at me for some reason I didn't understand. Anyway, this morning, I cried, but by the end, I was smiling, with tears on my face, which is kind of weird I guess. During praise, it occurred to me that this fast will be painfully hard. It will hurt like a rip in my heart when I strive to remove myself from the

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-55029719799317690362008-01-27T02:31:00.000-05:002008-01-27T02:32:17.772-05:00

Dear friends,I want to tell you about a fast that began as of 12am, Jan. 27. Thisis actually something that has been pressing on my heart for a whilenow. I am fasting from all things related to Taiwan (except the food),for the next 2.5 months (until April 19, the day of my MCAT). So thisincludes youtube, dramas, Taiwanese books and music.This is a fast different from all my previous ones, in that

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-75343004860642890092008-01-25T00:30:00.000-05:002008-01-25T00:33:43.154-05:00

First real job interview tomorrow. I have to not seriously think about it because if I do I would feel panic creeping up my spine. You know, the main reason why I'm nervous is not because of the interview itself, it's because of how I feel like I can't speak or express myself well. I need to keep telling myself that if this is the job God wants me to have, then I have it already. If it's not,

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-4765511525749683432008-01-07T22:48:00.000-05:002008-01-07T22:57:28.694-05:00

Next semester:School- Physics E&M + lab (where I'll spend the most time prob)- Ethics and Medicine seminar (hopefully not too much reading and papers)- Spanish (hopefully won't be too bad)- African Dance Work- psychiatrist's office -> ~13 hrs/wk? less? - Gen Chem II grader -> 5 hrs/wk? I don't know how long it will take me to grade 5 psets...Volunteer - St. Luke's -> 5 hrs/wkMCAT class + HW -> ~

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-49687842550260632532008-01-04T00:42:00.000-05:002008-01-04T00:53:28.491-05:00

我完蛋了. 有可能下禮拜就開始上mcat補習課, 我還是滿腦子都在想鄭元暢. 為什麼?? sigh... 我真的是無藥可救了. 也許, 換上這個比較早開始的課也是好的吧. 我覺得, 能夠有鄭元暢當朋友真的會是一件很好的事. 他這個人這麼開朗, 又搞笑, 一定是私底下也很受歡迎的人. 我真希望能夠跟他一樣. 不過他這個人真的長的好帥, 完全沒想到他小時後其實長的跟現在差好多, 個性也完全相反, 他說他小時後其實很內向害羞. 我會不會也是這樣阿? 我小時後也是很開朗, 外向的阿, 就是都會帶頭的那種, 小時後也好像長的比較可愛, 才會有那麼多男生追, 結果現在完全是相反的情形. 真的好想回台灣喔... 在台灣的大四生, 感覺會是怎麼樣的? 大概也是忙著找工作吧.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-65109866857980713102008-01-03T03:24:00.001-05:002008-01-03T03:39:49.364-05:00

I think I know why I'm becoming so addicted to tdramas. Actually, no, just ISWAK. I really do love the OST though. I'm in denial. I would rather dream about living a whole different life in Taiwan than pondering about my future, that is, the more realistic one. The truth is, I should be less worried than I was before, because I did really well this semester. But I feel like I should be worried.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-52200184883855642912007-12-29T04:28:00.001-05:002007-12-29T04:49:36.286-05:00

This is the first time I've ever finished an entire series of Taiwanese dramas. And I think I'm definitely becoming a sap... I cried =[ Anyway, thoughts in list form:+ Joe Cheng is too pretty and too skinny.+ Ariel Lin is a pretty good actress and she actually looks her part. + I miss Taiwan. And speaking Chinese, listening to and singing Chinese songs, and reading Chinese. But I do not miss

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-14307422546501267922007-12-10T00:48:00.000-05:002007-12-10T01:04:56.121-05:00

This semester I have had the most sporadic cycles of ups and downs in my entire life. It used to be over a span of months and now it's days. It makes me feel hopeless and want to give up. Last sunday seems so long ago. Anything that happened before this past Monday seems so long ago. I thought I was "recovering"; I was taking better care of myself, eating actual food, exercising, doing my qt's,

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-57290583102173185092007-12-03T21:46:00.000-05:002007-12-03T21:49:41.061-05:00

To do during winter break- Think and pray about med school/becoming a doctor (If the answer is yes, work on premed committee app stuff)- Think and pray about RCF/RWC/CSFC- Get a haircut- Find another pair of boots- Read all the books I've been wanting to read but have no timeetc...

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-45948178022341462942007-11-13T22:03:00.001-05:002007-11-13T22:42:50.108-05:00

I'm angry. Okay, indignant would be the right word. Actually, I'm just confused. I don't know what's going on. I don't understand why certain things are being done, in a certain way. It just doesn't make sense, not only to me, but to a lot of people. In place of IFTD this year, we (as in IV, KCCC, CSFC) will be having a pasta dinner where there will be catering from V&T and everyone is supposed

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-45283503438910146532007-11-11T01:09:00.000-05:002007-11-11T01:13:57.253-05:00

I miss Taiwan. Maybe I'll go back there after graduation. Maybe forever. Because as I think about life now, it seems like life started to suck a lot after I came here. Or maybe life was supposed to be perfect before you turn 13.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-71305660223631061032007-11-08T00:14:00.002-05:002007-11-08T00:32:26.603-05:00

I wanted to write this down a couple days ago but I didn't. I think I wrote it in my journal instead. Anyway, I watched the Godtube video again, 2 days ago I think, and it suddenly occurred to me that in the end, the girl didn't make it to God. The video showed that Satan pushed her back and then Jesus jumped forward and blocked all those... whatever they were from the girl. She never made it on

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-2764115305702834172007-11-05T02:21:00.000-05:002007-11-05T02:50:27.579-05:00

I'm going through about 4-5000 emails starting from last summer because I'm uploading music to gspace and I need to free up some storage space in my gmail account. I went through a couple of personal emails between me and a few others, judging from the subject line. In retrospect, I now see things that I didn't see at the time, such as that having 10 emails going back and forth with a guy is a

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-30184545746695278872007-11-03T04:09:00.000-04:002007-11-03T04:10:03.636-04:00

I started applying to jobs today. Technically, yesterday. I sent my resume to two positions. One is a PT that I need starting winter break and hopefully continuing into next semester because I really need to start making some money. I didn't know if it was too early to apply for this one... I never know when is the right timing, because what if they ask me to start right away? I have no time to

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-16664529107394790962007-11-01T03:11:00.000-04:002007-11-01T03:17:43.993-04:00

It's been 3 days. It's amazing and scary how small things could take such a toll on the little that I have garnered and almost demolish it. My personal retreat was very good. I got to sort out a lot of my issues and if I could only take away one thing it would be this: that I am His and nothing and no one can take that away or change that in any shape or form. Starting Monday, every thought has

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-16932247365237534642007-10-25T00:49:00.000-04:002007-10-25T00:53:12.915-04:00

I watched the Godtube video again. I finally cried. I would have cried the first time if I weren't watching it at butler. I can't get over how much of myself I saw in that girl. I was going to "save" this for Friday night after my midterms are over but I guess I just really needed it. God, I miss you. I want to come home. Take me home.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-90751307605209942092007-10-23T03:28:00.000-04:002007-10-23T03:39:52.813-04:00

Lately I've been feeling like I'm just going through the day to day routines and checking things off of my to-do list which is never ending. And it feels like what's what my life has come down to. Just... doing things. Whatever happened to being? It's really sad, when I think about it. Today, someone asked me, How are you doing emotionally? Do you ever stop and think about that? The truth is, not

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-51930929993623518182007-10-21T04:14:00.000-04:002007-10-21T04:15:18.933-04:00

So in this week's episode, Dan finally goes on a date with Serena. It was interesting, perhaps typical, but interesting. First of all there is this huge social class difference between the two. Serena lives permanently in a hotel owned by her mother (I think?) and throws money into the air wherever she goes and Dan's father is a ex-musician running an art gallery struggling to make just enough

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-61763751896548739392007-10-16T00:45:00.000-04:002007-10-16T01:15:31.036-04:00

It makes me happy to care for other people. At least, today. There is this freshman girl in RCF who is on a fruits/veggies fast. I think it's for 40 days. I think that takes guts. I sent her a facebook message today and said, I really respect what you're doing, things like that and offered to keep her in my prayer. I guess partly also to motivate me to pray because I would have something concrete

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-3556776945233487512007-10-15T01:30:00.000-04:002007-10-15T01:54:15.229-04:00

For the first time in 4 months, I am able to say, with genuineness, thank You.Sermon today was like 100% targeted at me. Everything PB said... was me. It was almost surreal. But I don't know how I managed to doze off towards the end. I finally bought my planner today. From now on I will record everything in it, assignments, events, deadlines, to-do's, pretty much my life in lists. I was really

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-66655665962996303722007-10-07T16:09:00.001-04:002007-10-07T16:13:01.463-04:00

UGHAGHHHHHGHGHHHHHHHHH;ALSKDJF;AKJSD;FKJ;KUGHHHHHHHHHI can't do this anymore. It's starting to feel like high school all over again and it's really scary. What the hell happened??? I feel like I'm disappearing into oblivion. This is not a way to live. It feels like I'm sabotaging my own life and I don't even know it. I think I will go to large group this week. For a start.

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-81203536079895287032007-09-30T23:04:00.000-04:002007-09-30T23:10:30.624-04:00

I wish I were a little kid again and that I could be easily satisfied with the small pleasures of life. I feel like I expect too much from... life, like I'm expecting to make a full cup of lemonade when the lemon itself isn't juicy at all. Instead it's all dried up and disgusting and useless to make a good cup of lemonade. But maybe a bad cup of lemonade is good enough. Or even a couple drops of

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-58023400572414773202007-09-25T14:52:00.001-04:002007-09-25T14:59:01.479-04:00

You know what's stressful? Trying to pay your own bills when you don't even have a job, or a part-time job, or a work-study job, or ANYTHING that gets you income. I hate Fedex and I hate at&t. And I hate getting food coma after eating a dish of fried rice. It's like carbs have a bigger sleep-inducing effect on me because I rarely eat rice. What is this, revenge? Since I'm on a row now: I also

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-240095381982935515.post-56019158135442824372007-09-22T04:00:00.000-04:002007-09-22T04:02:20.827-04:00

This past week was like a bad dream. It wasn't like a nightmare because it wasn't horrible or anything, just... bizarre I guess. Things took an unexpected turn, I don't know for better or for worse, and now I'm pretty unsure if I should keep going in this direction... or turn back, or at least not keep going. I guess I'm scared to keep going, even though I think (or at least the rational part of

gracehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17205314507876420149noreply@blogger.com0